Loonatics Unleashed Rewritten
by LuluCalliope
Summary: My version of how the show should have been. Loonatics Unleashed had potential, but I think that it wasn't reached. This is the series, completely rewritten. The first few chapters are a character list and episode summaries, other chapters will be the episode transcripts. Please leave your thoughts, criticism, feedback, suggestions, whatever! I'd love to hear what everyone thinks!
1. Character List

Loonatics Unleashed Character List

THE LOONATICS

ACE BUNNY: the descendant of Bugs and Lola Bunny still speaks with a Bronx accent and has a fondness for carrots. His superpower is the ability to jump great distances and tunnel under almost any surface. Although not the most intelligent member of the team, he is still seen as the leader because he has the ability to see through most, but not all, attempts to trap the heroes. He flirts frequently with Lexi, the object of his affections. His friendly rival on the team is Danger Duck.

LEXI BUNNY: the descendant of Buster and Babs Bunny also loves carrots, her looks, and doing her job. Her superpowers are sonic hearing and a heightened sense of smell, which can alert her to danger nearby. Ace flirts with her often, but she initially resists his charms, having had bad dating experiences in the past.

TECH E. COYOTE: the descendant of Wile E. Coyote and an unknown female. Like his paternal ancestor, Tech speaks with a refined English accent and has incredible intelligence, which he uses to make inventions for the team. He is proud of his work, and is greatly humiliated by his failures. He claims to despise Rev, the roadrunner, but soon develops a reluctant, begrudging friendship with him. Tech also has molecular regeneration, the ability to rebuild himself after exploding, burning, breaking bones, etc cetera.

DANGER DUCK: the descendant of Daffy Duck and Tina Russo. Danger Duck is the most egotistical member of the team, loving the fame and attention that comes with being a superhero. He sees himself as a ladies man, but is frequently rejected by the women he views as "damsels in distress". He often bickers with Ace over trivial matters, mirroring the relationship Bugs and Daffy once had. Despite the problems he has with the team, he is a valuable member and a dear friend to them all. One of his powers is a heightened sense of endurance, which means he can handle greater levels of pain than the others. He also possesses great flexibility and can reach great distances and be pulled in different directions, as well as the ability to generate "eggs", balls of random substances, with his hands. He and Tech, because of their powers, are used as shields in extremely dangerous situations, which sparks a friendship between them. Like his ancestor, Danger speaks with a lisp.

REV RUNNER: the descendant of the Road Runner and an unknown female. Like his ancestor, Rev can travel great speeds, stand on air, and has great agility. He also possesses some flight ability, but he prefers running. Like his ancestor, Rev is the object of hatred for a certain coyote. In this case, Tech is annoyed by Rev for his constant chatter and envies him for being able to escape almost any situation unharmed. Rev, however, sees himself as great friends with Tech, and is completely oblivious of any resentment that the coyote has towards him. They develop a friendship later on. Also unlike his ancestor, Rev has the ability to speak, although very rapidly. Whenever he chatters for too long, a member of the team will silence him by saying, "Meep meep," a tribute to his ancestor.

SLAM TASMANIAN: the descendant of the Tasmanian Devil and the Tasmanian She-Devil. Slam, like his ancestors, communicates mostly through grunts and other animal-like sounds, but can be understood by his closest friends. Like his ancestors, Slam can create large tornadoes by spinning. He also has a large appetite, but not for rabbits, like his ancestor did. Slam acts as a vegetarian and eats vegan foods, much to the displeasure of his teammates.

ACMETROPOLIS POLICE FORCE

CHIEF BEAUREGARD LEGHORN: the descendant of Foghorn Leghorn. He has inherited his ancestor's accent and speaking mannerisms, which can be irritating or confusing to some. He takes his job seriously and is often the one who informs the Loonatics of upcoming missions.

HAMTON PIG: the lowly deputy to the chief and the descendant of Porky and Petunia Pig. He admires the Loonatics and considers himself their biggest fan. Because of his admiration for them, he tends to follow them into dangerous situations, only to be used as bait by the villains. Like his ancestor, Hamton has a stutter.

GRAY COYWOLF: (original character) Gray is an intelligent wolf-coyote hybrid and secretary to the chief. The chief and Tech view her as someone of lower intelligence because of her sex, which irritates her greatly. Tech often attempts to flirt with her by discussing his projects, only for her to find flaws in them, thereby irritating and humiliating him. Because of her attention to detail, she and Tech develop a romantic relationship later.

VILLAINS

SYLVESTER JAMES PUSSYCAT THE SIXTH: The eccentric, greedy descendant and namesake of his ancestor Sylvester. He has inherited his relative's lisp, as well as the desire to torment birds. His targets are Sweetie Bird and Orson, whom he targets for ransom money. He is almost always thrown in prison for his crimes, only to be bailed out by one of his wealthy friends.

ELVIRA FUDD: This bounty hunter is the female descendant of Elmer Fudd. Although she'll target the Loonatics when another villain pays her, she'll also target them for the sport of it. Her biggest rivals are Ace and Danger, who find ways to outsmart her and escape her traps. Like Elmer, Elvira has trouble pronouncing "r" and "l".

DESCENDANT OF YOSEMITE SAM: WIP

MARTIN, MELVIN, AND MINA THE MARTIANS: The three descendants of Marvin the Martian and an unknown Martian female. All three have inherited their ancestor's quick wit and soft-spoken nature, as well as the violent urges to blow up planets. Martin acts as the leader and commander of their space ships. Melvin is the inventor of the group, as well as the designer for K-19, their robotic pet. Mina is their diplomat, the one who listens to pleas for mercy and bargains from planet leaders.

WITCH LEZAH: the descendant of Witch Hazel. She has the ability to manipulate the forces of nature, which she refers to as her "magic". She also can bring life to several inanimate objects, which she manipulates to aid her cause. Usually she robs houses of valuables by sending her slaves to retrieve them. Her most prized creations are the monsters called Gauze, Cobweb, and Rudolph.

GAUZE, COBWEB, AND RUDOLPH: the descendants of Gossamer. These three large, frightening monsters act as bodyguards to Lezah. They are protective of the witch, who they see as their mother, and each other. Deep down, they're not really evil, but they don't want to make their "mother" upset by defying her orders. Unlike their orange ancestor, the three are different colors. (Gauze is green, Cobweb is yellow, and Rudolph is red.)

OTHER

GRANNY FRELANG: The descendant of the original Granny. Granny is one of the wealthiest citizens of Acmetropolis and is beloved by many for her charity work and her family's contributions to the great city. Granny has no children of her own, but instead has two wards: Sweetie Bird and Orson. Because of her wealth, Granny is often the target of many villains, which makes her all the more grateful to the Loonatics for saving the day.

SWEETIE BIRD and ORSON: the descendants of Tweety Bird and the pampered wards of Granny Frelang. Like their ancestor Tweety, the twins have a peculiar manner of speaking and mispronounce words like "cat". Sweetie, the elder of the two, is vain and obsessed with her appearance. Her younger brother Orson manipulates whoever he can to get whatever he desires. However, the siblings love Granny with all of their heart and are huge fans of the Loonatics, given that the superheroes often save them from perilous situations or people intent on holding them for ransom.

ZIPPY GONZALES: the descendant of Speedy Gonzales. Zippy works at a pizzeria in Acmetropolis, where the Loonatics get free pizza in exchange for stopping crimes and preventing damage to the building. Like his ancestor, Zippy is extremely fast, but is bound by the laws of gravity and reality, which makes him unable to qualify as a Loonatic. Despite this, he and Rev are bitter rivals and are determined to find out who is really the fastest. Zippy is kind and laid-back, especially with his favorite customers, the Loonatics.

HODGE AND PODGE: the twin descendants of Mac and Tosh. These proper, well-meaning gophers are nearly identical to their ancestors. Both work in the Acmetropolis Library, where they analyze artifacts and other items brought to them by the Loonatics. Their constant chatter annoys everyone except for Rev, but at the end of the day, both parties are happy to be helping each other.

PREWITT LE PEW: the descendant of Pepe le Pew divides his time between three things: spending his vast amount of money, wooing women, and attempting to make a fool out of Danger Duck. Like his ancestor, Prewitt le Pew smells like "eau de poisson", which repulses many. The only girl he doesn't flirt with is Lexi, a former girlfriend.

PENELOPE PIG: the girlfriend of Hamton and friend of Gray, Lexi, and Clara. Penny, unlike Hamton and Porky, doesn't speak with a stutter. She's obsessed with cleanliness and considers herself a neat freak.

CLARA CUCKOO: (original character) a female roadrunner. Clara's best friend and roommate is Gray, which completely defies the predator-prey relationship. Clara speaks quickly, but not as quickly as Rev. She also possesses average roadrunner speed. She quickly becomes Rev's girlfriend.

CAT A. MOUNT: (original character) a cougar and a rival of Tech. Cat possesses great intelligence, but is inferior to Tech. He tries to get revenge on Tech for stealing his spotlight, but the plans quickly escalade, causing the Loonatics to save Cat. He's not evil by nature, just bitter, and tolerates the rest of the Loonatics.


	2. Season One Episodes

Loonatics Unleashed Season One Episode List

Lights Off!: The city of Acmetropolis has been plunged into a blackout and valuable pieces of technology have gone missing. When the Loonatics investigate, Tech is kidnapped and brainwashed by the culprits. Can his team save him?

Road Runner Down: When Rev is injured in a fight against Witch Lezah's nature monsters, he's temporarily replaced by Zippy Gonzales. However, Rev worries that the change is permanent when it seems like Zippy may be a better Loonatic than he is.

Road Over Runner: Rev has a crush on Gray Coywolf's best friend, Clara Cuckoo. When he lacks the courage to approach her, the guys on the team offer him advice, which produces mixed results.

Babysitting Antics (Part One): Beauregard enlists Danger to look after his nephew, Harold Hawk. But is the duck up to the challenge?

Babysitting Antics (Part Two): Ace is hired to babysit Orson and Sweetie Bird for an evening. The bunny struggles to keep his sanity while keeping the twins safe from the clutches of Sylvester the Sixth.

Your Biggest Fan: Hamton wins the chance to spend a day with the Loonatics, but every attempt to do something fun is foiled by a villainous plot.

Hungry Like the Coywolf: An epidemic spreads throughout Acmetropolis, compelling people to eat a strange vegetable. It's up to Slam, Tech, and Gray to find the cause of it!

Weathering Heights: Witch Lezah summons giant storms to terrorize the wealthy citizens of Acmetropolis. When weather girl Misty Breeze is harmed, Danger vows to avenge her.

Skunks and Guests Stink After Three Days: Prewitt le Pew's house has been taken over by Sylvester the Sixth, forcing the skunk to crash with the Loonatics. How long can they make it before they lose their sanity?

Looney Friday: A mishap with Tech's inventions causes the heroes to swap bodies, which creates confusion when Elvira Fudd is given the task of hunting Danger and Ace.

Shielding Shields: Danger and Tech, tired of being used as shields by their teammates, decide to leave the Loonatics and solve crimes on their own.

Take the Road Out of the Runner: Irritated with Rev's chatter, Tech builds a device that controls the speed at which he talks. This backfires when it affects Rev's performance as a hero.

Imprisoned with the Prisoners: During a routine inspection of the Acmetropolis Maximum Security Jail, the city loses power, leaving Tech, Rev, and Danger trapped with the prisoners in the jail lockdown. Can Ace, Slam, and Lexi restore the power before chaos reigns in the prison?


	3. Cloak of Black Velvet Rewrite

Loonatics Unleashed

Cloak of Black Velvet (Rewritten as: Lights Off!)

Scene: Acmetropolis. Day.

The sun is shining, traffic is busy, all in all, a typical day in the city. Zoom in on the Loonatics headquarters, a large skyscraper.

Int. Loonatics Headquarters. Living Room.

The Loonatics are scattered throughout the room. SLAM is sitting on the couch in front of the television, devouring slices of pizza. Next to him, ACE sits, munching on a carrot. On the other side of Ace, DANGER lies, feet in the air, head close to the ground, a cell phone by his ear.

DANGER

Hello? Yesth, thisth isth him. I wanted the sthuperhero cape in blue, not red, stho I'm sthending it back!

In a lounge chair, TECH sits in a meditative position, eyes closed, completely oblivious of his surroundings. REV zooms up to him, beak inches from his ear.

REV

Hey Tech oh buddy oh pal, whatcha doing, cause it looks like meditation or yoga or something and I've always wanted to try that especially if it means spending more time with my best friend which is you of course not that you didn't know that or not that we didn't spend enough time together already what with being superheroes and all that but-

TECH

(calmly)

Meep meep, Rev.

Rev closes his mouth and zooms away to LEXI, who has just entered the room.

REV

Hey, Lexi! What's Tech up to?

LEXI

Isn't it awesome? Ever since I showed him meditation, he's been totally into it! It's great for the mind and the body...and his mind DOES need a break.

ACE

You don't need to worry your pretty little mind about your pretty little body, Lexi.

LEXI

Go suck a lemon.

DANGER

Hello? Hello?!

The duck stands and closes his phone.

DANGER (cont'd)

Cursthe technology! It'sth the twenty-eighth thentury and I can't get a sthignal on this floor! I'm done with technology! Forever!

His phone rings. The ringtone is a loud siren mixed with cartoonish sound effects. Tech's ear twitches and his eyes open.

TECH

Would you PLEASE turn that accursed phone off? I am trying to empty my mind!

DANGER

You'd need a vacuum cleaner to empty that head of yoursth. Stherves you right for being stho dependant on technology! I am stho done with it!

TECH

You, my feathered friend, couldn't last one week without technology. Low or high.

DANGER

Oh, yeah? What about you, Misthter Sthientist? You need technology to be a sthuperhero! My own fists are weapons!

He generates two eggs in his hands, only for them to explode into confetti. The others giggle. Tech stands and approaches Danger.

TECH

Make you a bet. If you can go an entire week without technology, then I'll order you the superhero accessories myself. But if not, you order it for me.

DANGER

Don't forget about the matching bootsth.

He extends a hand to Tech, who takes it and shakes.

TECH

No problem. And I'm a size thirteen. Wide.

The alarm sounds and bright, red lights flash throughout the room. Ace gets to his feet.

ACE

Sounds like the chief is calling us! Let's go!

Opening theme.

Cut to:

Int. Loonatics Debriefing Room.

The heroes have gathered in front of a large screen, which shows static before it reveals the face of CHIEF BEAUREGARD. His face is lit up by a few candles.

ACE

Eh, what's up, chief? What's with the candles?

BEAUREGARD

It's the only, I say, it's the only source of light we have right now! There's been blackouts, I mean, blackouts happening all over the city! Now, pay attention, boy, when I'm talking to you! There's been a break-in at the Acmetropolis Space Traffic Control Tower! What are you all sitting around for? Get to work!

ACE

We're on it, chief!

Cut to:

Ext. Acmetropolis Space Traffic Control Tower. Day.

The Loonatics' ship docks in the parking lot outside the building. The team members leave and start towards the building.

LEXI

So, who do you think is in here? Sylvester the Sixth?

SLAM

*unintelligible grumbling*

ACE

You're right, Slam, he's not into the spacey stuff. What about Elvira Fudd? Or Witch Lezah?

TECH

It never hurts to keep our options open.

Int. Space Traffic Tower. Just Later.

The group stands in the center of a large lobby and examines their surroundings. There's been no sign of a struggle, but red alarm lights flash everywhere.

TECH (cont'd)

What I want to know is what they're after. I built most of the technology in here, after all.

Suddenly, an explosion comes from upstairs, knocking a hole in the ceiling.

ACE

Looks like we're about to find out!

From the hole in the ceiling, a floating platform descends. On top of it are three familiar characters: MARTIN, MINA, and MELVIN. All are dressed like their ancestor. Melvin carries a ridiculously large weapon in his tiny arms.

MARTIN

Oh, dear. Caught in the act, as usual.

MELVIN

Indeed, dear brother. How silly of us.

REV

The Martian triplets we should have known but we didn't know because then we wouldn't be guessing who you were but you didn't know that because you were upstairs and if you were upstairs then you couldn't hear us unless you have enhanced hearing like Lexi but I don't think you do but if you do-

MINA

Could someone turn him off?

ACE

Gladly. Meep meep.

Rev falls silent.

MINA

The Loonatics, a pleasure as always. Have you come to stop us?

TECH

Why else would we be here?

MARTIN

Perhaps for some catching up. We do so enjoy making new friends.

LEXI

We don't make friends from destroying planets!

MELVIN

But that's the only way we Martians know how to meet new people.

LEXI

You need to get out more.

MARTIN

And leave our spaceship? Good heavens, no. We just had a billiard table placed there. We should show you sometime. In fact-

He withdraws a small laser gun from his pocket and fires at Tech. The coyote howls, then goes limp. With a laser stasis, Martin drags the coyote towards him and his siblings.

MARTIN (cont'd)

-why don't we show the coyote the whole space ship?

MINA

We'd invite you, of course, but you know what they say: three's company, four's a crowd.

ACE

I'm not sure that's it, doc.

MINA

You're going to make us cross.

The floating platform begins to ascend to the hole in the ceiling with Tech, still in his laser stasis.

MELVIN

Ta-ta, Loonatics. We have to fly.

The Martians chuckle their evil chuckle as they leave.

ACE

C'mon, we have to stop them!

DANGER

And how do you proposthe we do that? We don't know what they're going to do!

ACE

But they have Tech!

DANGER

...and?

ACE

And he's a member of the team!

DANGER

...and?

ACE

And we should be concerned...because we don't leave any members behind…

DANGER

We don't?

Slam punches his shoulder. Suddenly, a holographic projection of Martin appears in front of the Loonatics.

MARTIN

Oh, by the way, since we can't really afford to have you attempting a rescue mission, we'll have to destroy this building with you in it. Sorry about that, but it's just business.

The building starts to shake as debris falls down.

ACE

Let's get out of here!

The group, except for Danger, rushes outside as the building collapses. The Loonatics survey the damage, panting for breath.

LEXI

Danger's still inside!

From behind her, Danger materializes, having teleported from inside the building.

DANGER

HAH! Take that, sthtupid building! You missed me!

A smaller explosion occurs from within the remains of the building. Debris flies in different directions, but a large anvil manages to fly towards the duck, striking him in the face.

DANGER

(flatly)

Ouch.

Cut to:

Int. Martian Spaceship. Space.

Inside the Martians' spaceship, everything has a retro, flying-saucer feel. The rooms are circular, everything is white, but blinking lights flash from various panels on the wall. Martin sits at the captain's chair, surveying the utter blackness of space. Melvin sits in a chair in the center of the room, where Tech is strapped to a table. Mina sits on the opposite side of the room from Martin, pressing random buttons on a control panel.

MELVIN

That was brilliant, how you handled the destruction of the building, brother.

MARTIN

Why, thank you, Melvin. If only Marvin the Great could have seen it. I'm sure he would have been very pleased.

Tech opens his eyes, realizes where he is, and starts to struggle against his restraints.

MELVIN

Oh, our guest is awake. Hello, Tech E. Coyote. We've been expecting you.

TECH

Of course you have, you kidnapped me! Imbeciles!

MINA

He does make a point, brother. Perhaps you should practice witty retorts and greetings later.

MELVIN

Right as always, Mina. Now, then. Ahem! Welcome to our spaceship, built by yours truly.

TECH

This bucket of bolts? What a dump. My ancestor is probably the only one who could have been impressed by this.

MELVIN

Don't insult my creations. I work very hard on them. We're both inventors, we can relate to each other. Which is why I know you'll be distraught when I mention that we've just blown up the Acmetropolis Space Traffic Control Tower. With all your precious inventions inside.

TECH

No! No!

He struggles harder against his restraints.

TECH (cont'd)

Not my babies! They never hurt anyone! You monsters!

MARTIN

You're right, they haven't hurt anyone. Yet.

He spins in his chair to face Tech.

MARTIN (cont'd)

The only thing we've saved is the Weather Automatic. Unless your puny planet surrenders to us, we shall cover the planet in darkness, then begin our invasion.

TECH

The citizens of our world, however puny and inferior to me, will never surrender.

MINA

We anticipated as much. Which is why we're going to begin the invasion within the hour. But we'll need help from the illustrious coyote to get the Weather Automatic to work.

TECH

I'll never join you! You killed my father...erm, my babies!

MARTIN

Oh, come now, Mr. Coyote. Working for us won't be that awful. Think of it. No pesky Road Runner to interrupt your trains of thought or invade your work space. And we supply all of the materials you need and take only seventy five percent of the profits.

MELVIN

Not many dogs can resist the perks of living with us. Right, K-19?

A familiar dog, now in robotic form, enters the room.

K-19

(robotic)

Bark bark.

He exits.

MELVIN

(pointedly)

He's upset because someone forgot to change his water dish.

MINA

Don't look at me, I was the last one who walked him.

MARTIN

Oh, so are you saying it's my fault?

MELVIN

You drew 'change K-19's water' from the job jar this week.

Tech shoots the fourth wall an exasperated glance before clearing his throat.

TECH

I'll NEVER join you! You ruined my projects, my babies! I must avenge them!

MINA

I can see you'll need more convincing. Bring in the Instrument of Persuasion.

K-19 enters the room with a hammer in his mouth. Written on the handle are the words: ACME INSTRUMENT OF PERSUASION (MARS DEPARTMENT). K-19 delivers the hammer to Melvin, who taps the round end of the hammer's surface against the palm of his hand. He readies his aim, then brings the hammer down on the coyote's head. Cartoon sound effects play as Tech's eyes become derped, stars appear around his head, and a large lump grows from the top of his noggin. He is freed from his restraints.

MARTIN

Excellent work, Melvin. Now, coyote, are you going to correct the settings of the Weather Automatic?

TECH

(dazed)

Yes, my masters.

MARTIN

Wonderful! I do so love it when a plan comes together!

He and his siblings snicker as Tech approaches the large weapon that Melvin carried earlier.

Cut to:

Ext. Acmetropolis. Dusk.

The Loonatics' ship flies into the sky, above the clouds.

Int. Loonatics Ship.

The team members are strapped into their chairs, determined looks on their faces.

ACE

Any sign of the ship, Rev?

REV

No sign no trace no lick no speck no particle no mark no nothing.

LEXI

Be quiet.

REV

Lexi you've forgotten the rule if you want me to be quiet or speak more slowly then you have to say the trigger words or else I won't know that you want me to be quiet because you know that Tech and I don't get out much because he and I are so close and so busy being-

LEXI

QUIET. I can hear something.

From outside, the low rumble of space ship's engine can be heard.

LEXI

We're right beneath them.

ACE

Good work, dollface. Now, how do we get inside?

Lexi stands.

LEXI

(deadpan)

Don't call me dollface.

ACE

Why not? You have a face like a doll, minus the creepy dead eyes, the unnaturally smooth skin, the perfect eyelashes, and the small smile of innocent beauty and-

LEXI

Ooooh, that does it!

She lunges at Ace. Ace's head slams into a control panel, which causes a missile to launch upwards. It hits the Martian ship, exposing it completely.

Ext. Loonatics Ship.

The Martian ship is completely visible now, and totally resembles a flying saucer.

Int. Martian Ship.

The Martian siblings haven't moved from their earlier positions. Tech remains dazed and focused on his work with the weapon.

MELVIN

I believe they've just broken our cloaking device. No matter. If they manage to get on board, they'll be too late to stop us.

MARTIN

Of course. In fact, why don't we give them front row seats for the conquering of their home world?

He presses a button.

Ext. Martian Ship.

A door door opens slowly in the manner of a garage door. The Loonatics ship flies inside.

Int. Martian Ship. Docking Bay.

Several small space shuttles are parked throughout this room. The Loonatics exit their ship and begin to walk around.

ACE

That was almost too easy.

DANGER

And that's a problem?

ACE

They should have noticed us by now. They're smart, doc.

LEXI

Then let's grab Tech and whatever it is they stole and get out of here!

ACE

Can you hear him, Lexi?

LEXI

I hear typing.

DANGER

That MUST be him. Misthter Alwaysth Spendsth His Time In Front of a Screen!

The group starts to follow Lexi out of the room, using her ears as their guide.

ACE

Oh, yeah? The week's not over yet, Danger. Think you can make it without video games?

DANGER

You're desthpicable. You know that.

Cut to:

Int. Martian Bridge.

None of the Martians or Tech have left their posts. The Loonatics have entered the large room and have hidden themselves in the shadows, watching.

ACE

(whispering)

That's what they took from the Control Tower.

LEXI

(whispering)

Poor Tech...they're forcing him to rebuild his invention.

ACE  
(whispering)

Yeah, but why?

TECH

(dazed)

The Weather Automatic is ready, masters.

MINA

Oh, goody! We're ahead of schedule!

MELVIN

And still no sign of the rest of those pesky Loonatics! Come, siblings, let us partake in the pre-invasion party games!

The Martians exit, leaving Tech frozen in front of his machine. The Loonatics step out of the shadows.

ACE

Tech, ol' buddy, why don't we make like a banana and split?

TECH

(dazed)

I answer only to my masters now. Intruders must be stopped.

He leaves the machine and heads towards another control panel with a large button marked ALARM.

LEXI

No, Tech, don't do it! We're your friends!

SLAM

*unintelligible noises*

ACE

Yeah, snap out of it, doc!

DANGER

WAIT! I know what can fix him!

He pulls out his cell phone and plays his ring tone. Tech flinches as the bump in his head retreats into his skull.

TECH

Curse that infernal phone!

REV

Yay you're you again of course you were always you but you just weren't acting like it but who cares because I HAVE MY BEST FRIEND BACK!

He zooms up to Tech and squeezes him in a hug. Tech's eyes bug out of his head.

ACE

Eh, I think the coyote needs a little air, Rev.

TECH

No, look behind you!

The other Loonatics turn to find the Martians standing in the doorway, eyes narrowed.

MARTIN

You picked a terrible time to free him from our control. We were about to start tic-tac-toe.

MINA

Now you've made us angry. Which is why we'll cover the planet in darkness...and invade anyway!

Melvin approaches the Weather Automatic.

MELVIN

Activating the Weather Automatic now, siblings. The whole planet should be consumed by a wave of darkness within moments!

TECH

Well, I guess that's our cue to go.

He winks at Ace. Ace's eyes widen, then he grins.

ACE

You heard the genius. Let's am-scray!

They dart out of the room as Melvin presses a button.

COMPUTER

Self destruct in five…

MINA

What?!

COMPUTER (cont'd)

...four…

MELVIN

Oh, dear, not again!

COMPUTER (cont'd)

...three…

MARTIN

Curses, foiled again! To the escape pods!

COMPUTER (cont'd)

...two...one...zero…

Ext. Martian Spaceship.

The ship explodes, but two ships manage to escape. One of them is the Loonatics' ship. The other is the Martian escape pod.

Int. Martian Escape Pod.

The three siblings and their dog are squeezed together in the tiny space that they have.

MELVIN

I have to go to the bathroom.

MINA

In the middle of our escape? Are you crazy?

MARTIN

Focus, Melvin and Mina! We must focus on the next step of our plan: revenge!

He chuckles wickedly, the closest thing he can muster to a maniacal laugh.

MINA

Oh! So having the ship destroyed was part of the plan?

MARTIN

No. But we have to improvise now.

MELVIN

Curses. I do so hate losing.

Cut to:

Int. Loonatics Headquarters. Living Room.

The group relaxes in front of the television, paying close attention to Tech.

ACE

So, I still don't understand how you did it, doc.

TECH

Isn't it obvious? Once they released me, I recalibrated the Weather Automatic's features and connected it to the spaceship's self destruct system.

He slumps over.

LEXI

What's wrong, Tech?

TECH

All of my babies...destroyed by those Martians...it'll take years to rebuilt it all…

REV

Not to worry ol' Tech ol' buddy ol' pal because when they said that they were going to blow up the control tower I managed to move quickly enough to grab all of the important looking machines from inside and bring them to the chief's office!

TECH

...you did?

REV  
Of course! What are good friends for?

He smiles and Tech shoots a "kill me now" look to the fourth wall. Danger clears his throat loudly.

DANGER

Ahem! I'm stho glad that you can all agree with me: technology is the worstht.

TECH

Oh, that reminds me. My dear duck, I took the liberty of ordering the cape and boots. They're sending you the bill tomorrow.

DANGER

But-but-that'sth my cape and bootsth! Why-?

ACE

You used your phone, doc. We all saw you.

DANGER

But I did it to save him! Without me, Tech would still be going around like, "Whatever you sthay, oh glorious mastersth!"

TECH

I was never really under their control.

ACE, LEXI, REV, DANGER

WHAT?!

SLAM

HUH?!

TECH

Their method of persuasion was a hammer, which they used to hit my head. Molecular regeneration, remember? It couldn't do anything to me, but I couldn't let them know that. So I acted like it worked.

ACE

What about that moment with the alarm button?

TECH

You are really gullible. Did you really think I'd push that button?

REV

No not for a single moment because you're our friend and friends always remember that deep down they're friends even though they may or may not have been brainwashed by aliens and-

TECH

Meep meep!

Rev falls silent and the doorbell rings. Tech exits, but enters a few minutes later, donning a blue cape and matching boots.

TECH

Handsome as always, am I right? Anyway, Danger, it was so considerate of you to use your phone, but you really didn't have to. I mean that.

Lexi chuckles and Danger growls.

COMPUTER

Incoming message for the Loonatics.

ACE

Play it on the TV!

Chief Beauregard's face appears on the large screen.

BEAUREGARD

I say, you did a good, I say, a good job! You've saved our good city and recovered valuable equipment! Thank you, Rev and Tech. And-well, look at you, boy! Don't you look like the heroic one, Tech!

TECH

Why, thank you, Chief.

DANGER  
But-but-

The hologram fades from the screen.

DANGER

But-it's not fair! I'm the heroic one!

TECH

Maybe you should call him back and let him know.

ACE

If you can get a signal.

DANGER

You're all desthpicable.

Roll end credits.


End file.
